Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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