"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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