Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The best revenge is premature balding
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
