summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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