we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
