we made out on top of his cat.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
