I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I didn't notice because vodka
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
