Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's get the cat blown out
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
