I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
