So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
