It's Friday. Sex?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
