so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
