these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
