like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
