my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
