covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
