it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
