call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
