Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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