Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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