? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just took my morning after pill in the library
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
