I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
