and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
