How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
