Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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