Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
