So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
