i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
