I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
