Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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