that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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