we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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