Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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