writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
