i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
