New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
