Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
