i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
