I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
