Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think people are normalizing furries
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
