If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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