I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
