So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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