I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I will be naked everywhere
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
