U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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