At least make sure they are 18
Why
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
