Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
