I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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