omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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