This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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