I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
